Animal Car

Mango - my guinea pig
Peanut - my mom's cat
Jack - cat we used to have
Diamond - dog we used to have

I went to the beach with Nina. Her and I were leaving to go to the airport in a few hours so I went to get the car so I could pick her up. When I went back to where I had parked it it wasn't there. I walked around not knowing what to do and happened to come across a place where they took cars that got towed. I went inside and described my car to the guy there. I thought I saw it so I asked him to bring it over. He used a crane and dropped the car into a pool in front of me. I realized it wasn't actually my car, it just looked like it because of the surf racks. I eventually found it and left.
I was driving a bunch of my pets from Irvine to Santa Cruz. The ones I had in the car with me were Mango, Peanut (except he was orange), Jack, and Diamond. I was holding them all in my lap and they were all falling asleep. Jack wolk up and started walking toward the window that was rolled down. Theo was now in the car with me and I asked him to roll up the windows and turn on the air conditioning. He did and we kept driving. I was having a lot of trouble steering the car so it was swerving around a lot. The brakes also didn't work very well. A cop behind me turned his lights on and I tried to pull over. When I did I saw that there was another car in front of me pulling over too, and that he was actually the person in trouble. I couldn't make the car stop moving forward and I almost ran into him.
I went with my Dad to his friend's house. We were going to some kind of class. I had to leave the animals from earlier to go to it, and this was making me nervous. My Dad's friend, who was really obnoxious told me he left the animals in my car in the garage. I freaked out because they were all going to get overheated and die, and told the friend that I had to go back and get them. The friend said I would need the key, and that it was hidden somewhere in his front yard. He told me where exactly but I didn't really understand him. I got to his house and was looking in all the things he had in his yard to find the key. There were little seashells embedded in a piece of wood, and I took them out to look underneath them.

Tennis Competition, Except Without Actually Playing

Night of: September 27th
People Involved: Chris Patti, Kyle Hart, Carley Jennings, some Asian guy
Number of Dreams Remembered: a couple, but I'm writing this too late
Length of Sleep: 10 hours

I was going to play tennis with Chris, Kyle, Carley, and some Asian guy (sorry Brian). It was going to be me and the Asian guy vs. Chris and Kyle... I don't know if Carley was going to be sitting out or what. I told my teammate that Kyle will try to play front-man, and the key is to lob it just over his head. I also explained that if you don't make the lob, then move to the middle-ish of the court so that you can recover an angle shot.
The Asian guy was missing so Chris, Kyle, and I rallied a little, but it turned into Kyle trying to be front-man and me trying to get the ball past him. This then turned into me trying to hit it as hard as I can at Kyle's face. Chris and Kyle hit the ball back hard at me, too, and I'd have to run to get the ball, so that was irritating. Also, Kyle was cocky about being front-man, which was lame.
The Asian guy was back, but now Kyle and Carley were reading something on the ground, in the middle of the court. The Asian guy, Chris, and I tried to play, but I stopped because it was difficult to play with Carley and Kyle sitting in the middle of the court. I saw that Kyle was reading instructions to Carley on how to play tennis. The instructions were two pages long in fine print, with a picture of the human body. When I went over there, Kyle was pointing to the thigh and explaining it.
I sat down and said that with them sitting in the middle of the court, it was difficult to play, and that I could quickly explain the rules that Carley didn't already know. I said something along the lines of, "You're not allowed to touch the net." I was then going to explain that you can't hit the ball when it hasn't crossed over the net yet, but I thought I should demonstrate it. As I went to the net, and started explaining, Kyle tried to jump in to explain it at the same time, which was frustrating, and I felt was competitive. I don't think we got to play before I woke up.

In Retrospect: This dream seems to be alluding to the fact that it's difficult to get to play tennis with Kyle because he's always doing something else (with women). That would be crazy if Brian had a dream involving tennis last night. I'd say it's strange that Carley and I did, but I have a lot of tennis dreams.

Brian's Speedo

I was home for one night in Irvine. I really wanted to see Justin but I wasn't sure if I should call him or not. Brian showed up at my house to play tennis, so apparently we were all hanging out anyway. Brian was wearing a blue speedo. I asked if he wanted to play guitar hero and he said alright. When I got up to my room Mattie was already playing it. It was like Mattie and I were kids again because she wouldn't give up the guitars, and I had to wrestle them away from her. When I finally got one I jabbed it into her side, and then I felt kind of embarrassed that Brian had seen me act like that.

Broken Log is Burning

Jared - ex-boyfriend
Tyler - high school friend

I visited my grandparents in Washington, but there house looked different than usual. It was much bigger and on a larger piece of property. We called my Uncle to say hello to him. He sounded very disjointed and upset throughout our whole conversation.
Harry Potter went to see Dumbledore about something. Dumbledore apparently didn't give him what he wanted or said something upsetting because Harry left very upset and moody.
I was with Jared and Tyler and we were drawing on a piece of paper using honey and other random objects. Tyler drew a person and I put hair on it and wrote "Carley", which pissed him off. We found a frog and we were trying to feed it flies. Then we ran around trying to find something to put it in. The frog lived in salt water so we had to find salt water.
I was going to a really ugly all-girls private school called something like "Broken Log". I had transferred there from UCSC for some reason. All of the girls were visiting a boy's school or something like that and there was a dinner party. Throughout dinner guys were walking around and sitting down with the girls they were interested in. No one sat with me, which didn't really bother me at first, but once I started to think about it it was kind of upsetting.
We were on a bus ride back from the event, and all the guys were now sitting in pairs with the girls and I was sitting alone behind a very happy couple. My friend and I noticed that the most attractive guy out of all of them had paired up with a really fat lady.
Later on everyone went out on dates and I was just wandering around. I ran into a group of four girls with a group of four guys. The girls were wearing matching shirts, which i thought was really tacky. Throughout the entire night I kept asking myself, "how did all of these girls manage to get dates and I didn't?"
When we got back to the school it had been set on fire by someone. I was really upset about it and started crying. My Dad came to get me and see if I was alright. I was sitting on a ladder under a tree drinking a New Castle that I had brought back from dinner, and watching the fire fighters try to put out the fire. My Dad seemed really relaxed and his normal self considering how chaotic the situation was.

Bums With Bombs

Michaelangelo/Devin - guys I met at a party last night
Brittany Taylor - elementary/high school friend
Annika - girl i used to work with

I was at a party with Michaelangelo, Devin, Brittany Taylor, and a few other people. Michaelangelo was really drunk but I was enjoying talking to him, and eventually he and Devin's band was going to start playing. Once Michaelangelo started setting up his drum kit I said I was going to go. He hung on to my arm and asked me not to leave but I politely refused. Brittany was leaving with me, and for some reason when we were about to walk out a bunch of guys were telling her to kiss me. I wasn't excited about the prospect of being some kind of lesbian spectacle, but Brittany was pretty hot. So she gave me a long kiss and as we kissed I heard cheers from guys in the background. Then she grabbed my hand and we left the party.
Me, Brittany, and a few other girls were walking home now. We walked by a lot of bums, and one of them planted a bomb on us. I noticed it on one of the girls I was walking with, but before I could tell her a cop showed up. The cop was a young woman who looked like a hot detective/cop in a tv show would look as opposed to an actual female cop. She put her hands on her hips and angrily asked us what the hell we thought we were doing. I told her the bomb was planted. She didn't believe us, but as we were arguing with her another bum walked by and picked up the bomb off my friend. We all told the cop "see! it was them", and then I looked up to see Annika (who had apparently been with us the whole time) chasing down the bum. She tackled him to the ground and they were now in an all out brawl. I was really worried at first, but then I remembered that Annika is huge and she plays rugby so she would probably be able to hold her own. She fought off the bum and gave the bomb back to the cop.
I was biking home and going down Westcliff. I looked out at Cowell's and noticed that the surf was huge. Apparently I got in some guy's way because he yelled at me out his car window. I stopped at the supermarket and I was trying to buy some yogurt and some cherry juice and a few other things. Everything I tried to buy was sold out and I was getting irritated. Me and one of the employees started joking about how they have everything but what you need. As I went to get in line I noticed a woman who had found the type of yogurt I wanted, which pissed me off. I ran back to get some cherry juice.
I biked over to Shayna's house and somehow got involved in sneaking around an apartment with a friend of hers. The apartment complex was very nice, all made of paneled wood and it was the afternoon so all the rooms were filled with a lot of sun. I think the guy and I were trying to get to an object we needed to steal. We were sneaking through a room that an old man lived in. The old man was passed out on the table. A nurse or a maid came in and in order to hide we kind of just passed out on the table with the old man. She came over to the table and started picking up the trash that was around us. She said "Hi Carley", and I looked up in confusion to see that this woman was an old friend of mine. We started chatting and apparently since I knew her it was okay that I was there. The old man wolk up and started talking to me and the guy that I was with. He was just telling us stories about his life and some problems he was currently having. I listened like a psychologist, and I think I made the old man feel happier. Eventually we left. I went outside and it looked like we were in Manhattan. Shayna was outside at a market buying some fruit. She talked to me as I went to get my bike. I walked over to where it was locked up and saw that someone had messed with it to try to get the wheels out of the lock. They had let all the air out of the tires, the screws were missing, and the chain was off. I went over to Shayna with a really pissed expression and she thought they had stolen my bike. I told her it wasn't that bad then showed her what happened.
I had just bought a machine that tested something about the ocean, maybe the tides. It was made up of strips of metal and wires and I had to prop it up on the sand. I used a couple of rocks to hold it up in the ground. When the waves washed up they almost completely covered my device, so I decided I should move it back. I couldn't get it out of the rocks I had stuck it in, and now the water was getting much higher. I just said fuck it and went in up to my waist to get it out, but I was eventually completely submerged in water. The current was strong and I felt like I was getting pulled out. I tried not to panic, and after a couple more dives under the water I got the device out and swam back to the shore. When I got out some guys commented on the machine I had bought and I said that yeah it was nice. I was just hanging out on the beach and met some students there. It was a really nice day and we were all enjoying ourselves. At one point my bathing suit came untied and I couldn't get it to go back on so I asked one of the guys to help me. Instead of just helping me he kind of took an extra long time to tie it and made a bunch of comments to his friends about my boobs. I got pissed at him and told him to actually help me.

Conan's Autograph

Night of: September 24th
People Involved: Brian Imbach, Conan O'Brien
Number of Dreams Remembered: a couple, but I'm writing this too late
Length of Sleep: a lot

I was at Disneyland in the middle of a parade. I looked up at a second-floor window of a building and Conan O'Brien was waving hysterically.
This morphed into me trying to get his autograph. I went into a place that was going to announce where he was autographing. I talked to one woman, and she said to ask the food lady. I went up to the food lady, asked where Conan was going to be, and she said something along the lines of, "I'm not supposed to tell anyone yet, but the line will form by the cricket." I was about to walk away, but not knowing where that was, I figured I'd ask her to be more specific. She said something like, "It's not North or West... so it must be..."
I then saw a compass on the ground right next to us, with a stone cricket on the South side, but unfortunately a railing was in the way. I started running to get in line, and saw Brian running towards the same direction. By the time we reached the line, there were already about 50-75 people in front of us.
All of a sudden we were near the front of the line. Brian had a bunch of stuff for him to sign and I had nothing. Brian said I could use one of the things he brought--a picture of My Favorite Band. I thought it would be weird to have Conan sign a picture of my band, so I figured I'd have him sign the back of it. I asked Brian if I should ask him something, and then remembered that I had sent him letters--so I'd ask him if he got them.
Right when we were about to get his autograph, Conan stood up to go on break. An Asian guy sat down for him and continued autographing. We were next in line, so the Asian guy autographed the back of the MFB picture. The autograph was very circular.
I was sad and didn't understand how another person could autograph for him.

The Sex Lives of John Turturro and Amanda Bynes

I Flew!

I was in a room with John Turturro and we were supposed to have sex. Saddam Hussein was sitting in the corner of the room supervising the event. I was completely disgusted and freaked out so I ran away and locked myself in the bathroom. While I was in there trying to clean myself up I was having a lot of trouble breathing. I figured it was because the room was really steamy from someone taking a shower in there. I frantically tried to finish washing my face, and every second I was in there it got harder and harder to breathe and I was eventually wheezing. As I wrestled with the door handle to let myself out I wondered why Theo wasn't there to help me.
When I got out of the bathroom Amanda Bynes was in the living room with an entire camera crew. She had decided she wanted to do something nice for her boyfriend and so they were going to film some kind of porn together. She walked around the room and put on a dildo that she came across. She walked up to look at herself in the mirror while wearing it. Upon seeing herself wearing a dildo she had some kind of epiphany, and was suddenly mortified that she was doing this in front of all these people. She started crying and ran out of the room. Her manager was standing there watching it all happen, and as Amanda ran by her I caught a glimpse of the managers face. She was crying and felt so bad for Amanda.
I decided I had to get out of here before they tried to make me do anything else. When no one was looking I pulled on a pair of pants and a shirt, and when I looked in the mirror I noticed my head was shaved again, and I liked it. I decided to escape out the window, and looked out to see if I could make it. We were on the second story but there was a big awning that I could grab on to. I scaled down it and made my way into a side yard, and after climbing through some plants I was out on a residential street. I decided that running wasn't fast enough and that I had to fly.
I pushed off from the ground and kind of swam up into the sky. Eventually the harder I tried the better I got at flying until I was moving pretty freely around the sky, going higher and higher and then occasionally diving down back toward the ground. As I flew, people on the ground pointed in amazement. I told them I could show them all how to fly, and a lot of people were interested in doing so. They climbed up onto a telephone wire and I began instructing them.
I was rescuing a little boy from his house. His family had been infiltrated by bad people who were trying to kill him and his little brother. The three of us were now on the roof of his house while the family was inside eating dinner. We were trying to climb off the house without them seeing us. The boy's name was Doobie, and for some reason his little brother was just a plastic doll. I told Doobie to put his arms around my neck and I would just carry him that way as we climbed. I also told him to do exactly what I say. I was trying to give him instructions, and for some reason I couldn't get my words straight so I was confusing him a lot. Eventually he just got so upset that he decided to leave and try to make it on his own. I tried to hand the little brother to Doobie, but he left before I could get the brother to him. I was now alone in front of a window and for some reason to avoid being seen I had to jump inside and hide in there. The good members of the family saw me go by and tried to carry on the conversation as if nothing had happened. I hid on a bed in the corner of the room that was covered in soda cans and bread. One of the bad guys was also sleeping there. A big yellow truck pulled up outside and the bad guy sitting at the table tried to read what it said on it. He squinted and slowly read "C...S...I...", then everyone freaked out because this meant that they were caught. The house started to explode, and I had a view of flames being reflected in the visor of the CSI's riot gear, with the bad guy's face in the background wearing a sneer.

Surfing With Justin and Brian

Sam - my sister
Aleasha - childhood/highschool friend
Jared - ex-boyfriend

I was with Justin and Brian and we were trying to think of something to do. Brian said he wanted to go surfing, which I was fine with, and we coaxed Justin into coming along. Brian found this really nice board on the ground next to him and decided to just use that. I told Justin I had a wetsuit and a board for him. We were at Doheney (even though it looked nothing like it), and we walked to the edge of the cliff to look at the break. The water was perfectly blue like it is in the tropics, but the waves were breaking right on the sand. I told Brian that we couldn't surf on that, and after arguing with him for a while he gave in. We all started walking along the beach.
We came to some kind of exhibit that was supposed to be the site of some paranormal activity. There was a bedroom with carpet on the floor. Someone had written on the carpet by making indents with their fingers, and the bedsheets were all slashed. This all looked staged to me, and none of us were very impressed with the display.
We all walked a long the beach some more and decided to go swimming. Sam, Brian, and Myself all walked as far from the water as we could toward the cliffs behind us. Then we lined up and on the count of three we all raced to the water. For some reason I had really delayed reactions and by the time I noticed Brian say go I was already way behind. I just gave up.
I was riding on a train traveling next to the coast. I ran into Aleasha, and apparently we had some dating history together. I told her she looked beautiful and kissed her neck, which made her uncomfortable. We started talking and she mentioned that she had dated another girl named Carley, to which I said something to the effect of "you just can't resist girls with my name?". She turned to me, pushed me onto the bed behind us and started kissing me. There were plates of food underneath us but we didn't really care and had sex anyway.
I was walking down the train and ran into Jared and some other people smoking cigarettes. They kept offering me some and I refused numerous times. They were dropping their lit cigarettes on the floor of the train and I had to keep stamping them out. I walked away, and noticed that there were guys following me. Jared had told them to kidnap me and make me smoke. Everywhere I turned there were bigger and bigger groups of guys. I decided that there was no way I was going to resist so I just let them tackle me. They were all talking to me and laughing like this was supposed to be fun, but I really wasn't enjoying myself.

Exactly How Much Marijuana Did You Smoke??

Night of: September 22nd
People Involved: Rainn Wilson (Dwight from "The Office"), my mom, my sister, my brother
Number of Dreams Remembered: 2
Length of Sleep: 11 hours

Rainn Wilson was living in my house... my old house. I remembered exactly what this dream was about earlier, but now I have no clue.

In Retrospect: I had a few dreams that I remembered when I woke up during the night, but I was too lazy to get up and write them down. Also, I haven't watched "The Office" lately, but I'm still having consistent dreams about it.
I just wrote the title of this blog, referring to the Dwight and the fact that I can't remember my dreams from last night... but the title reminded me of another dream I had, and you'll see why.
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My mom and brother took up smoking, and offered me a pill. Since they started smoking, I didn't trust what the pill was for. It was smooth and electric blue, and about 3 inches long. I showed it to my sister, since she's a doctor, and she didn't know what it was. We concluded that it was a pill that made regular smokers get a marijuana high whenever they smoke.

In Retrospect: I find it very strange that I took the Dwight dream and came up with the marijuana title, only to realize that I actually did dream about marijuana. Was marijuana buried in my mind/subconscious because of the dream? Was it chance? Did I dream about marijuana because of Dwight/the marijuana episode?
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I had to get rid of a cat, so I put it in an envelope and sealed it. I put the stamp on, but thought it might not ship because it weighs too much and I'd need more stamps... so I put the cat in a cage.

Beads In Boxes

I was supposed to drive someone to southern California. I didn't for some reason, and I ended up in a kitchen at a sleepover party for Marissa's birthday. We tried to cook something but the oven was full of other stuff. We started cleaning it out, and it was full of tons of plastic beads. We organized the beads in boxes.

Grand...Patricide?

Ok, so, i was watching Pirates of the Caribbean 4...or in it...or something...And i was suppose to shove a frisbee up this chick's...baby maker? (the wrong way) But i faked it and just slipped it under her dress or something. Somehow, as a result of this, i had a baby. Actually, i think there were two babies, but i only took one. I don't know. It was weird. Maybe my mom took the other one or something. What was even weirder was that my baby was talking to me. I don't remember anything it said, but i remember something about something i said to it. It had to do with when it grew up. I said something like, "if you get good grades, you treat women well, and ...[i guess i said something about an axe?], then i'll pay for your college." Basically, right after this, it flashed forward to the baby being 18 years old or whatever, and he came to claim his reward or something, but instead of me, he came to my dad...i think...maybe it was just me in 20 years, so i looked like my dad or something. He looked worried like he didn't deserve his reward. My dad knew that he had good grades, so he asked him, "have you not treated women well?" The "baby" said something like, "no, that's not the problem...it has to do with that axe." Suddenly, he got a big evil grin on his face, and then his head turned into like a cartoon character head (like a spy vs. spy guy maybe) still with the maniacal grin. Then, he pulled out an axe and chopped my dad in half at the torso. I think that's when i came back into the picture. At first, this event seemed like a tragedy, but then i think i said something like, "he was the only person my mom ever truly hated," so it was good that the kid killed him. Yeah, i don't know. It was weird, and i'm writing this like 5.5 hours after i woke up.

PS. Blogger sucks, and i don't think i'll be posting anymore dreams. Enjoy.

The Offices

Night of: September 21st
People Involved: Jim Halpert/John Krasinski, Stanley Hudson/Leslie David Baker, Suzanne Page (Director of Allocation at Hot Topic), Steve Carell
Number of Dreams Remembered: 3
Length of Sleep: 11 hours

I was in "The Office" but it wasn't a show... it was real. It was the last day of working for everyone, kinda like the last day of school. I saw Jim write a note to Pam that said "I love you!"
For some reason, I was in charge of getting Stanley a gift. My gift to him was a note saying that he could leave early and we'll finish everything up for him. However, when it was time to open presents, he had something else with my note--a suit. He tried it on, and I took the note and tossed it on his desk to make sure he saw that there were actually two presents.
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I was back at work and Suzanne was trying to get me to stay longer. I told her that I was already working a lot for the company, and I'd think about it. She told me I could take some free shirts, but they all looked lame.
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I was at a park with Steve Carell and there was a slippery bike course that we both rode on.

Underage Girls = Jail Time

Night of: September 20th
People Involved: Chris Patti, Jeff Patti, my family, Brian Imbach, underage girls
Number of Dreams Remembered: 1-3
Length of Sleep: 9.5 hours

I had gone to jail for a couple of days... and the reason was for sneaking into a jail to try to throw away empty bottles of alcohol. When I came back from jail, my old corporate office had called to see where I was, but when I had gone back to work, they didn't care or bother asking where I had been for the last few days.
Chris and Jeff gave me presents--one was a box with some tennis racquets. Another box was sealed with melted gummy bears. We talked to my family and I mentioned that I needed to get my car back from the jail.
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CAUTION: This following dream is sexually explicit and illegal. I do not condone any of these behaviors.... err something. Parental discretion is advised.

Brian and I were in an apartment with two underage girls. Some flirting happened, which led to one of the girls going away and coming back completely nude. The girls made out with each other, and then the naked one went down on the other girl. I decided to help with the process by revealing and fondling the clothed girl's right breast. Panting, she said, "Ok, ok, I'm good, thank you" to the naked one, and the naked one replied, "I thought something's supposed to come out... or that's the period." I then realized that these girls were virgins and/or never had orgasmed before. That also got me thinking about the underage factor.

In Retrospect: I think this dream was before the jail dream--and jail on the mind makes sense after this dream.
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CAUTION: The following dream contains adult language. Parental discretion is advised.

I was in a parking lot (possibly at a jail trying to throw away empty bottles of alcohol, which I was probably trying to throw away to get rid of evidence) and was thinking about if I should've done more with the two girls. I tried to find them, and in looking for the apartment, I saw a creepy guy following me. I realized I was in a scary area, and quickly tried to enter any door I could find. I opened one and the guy was right behind me. He said something along the lines of, "You little cock-sucking fucker." I tried to lock the door, but the lock was crappy. The man busted in.

In Retrospect: I remember waking up from this breathing incredibly hard. Also, it is very possible and probable that these were all connected dreams. I'm sure the explicit dreams were caused by the fact that I watched a few episodes of Next on tv last night and read a few chapters of a sexually explicit book about pick-up artists right before going to bed.

Battling Evil With Lindsay Lohan

I was in a backyard that was supposed to be my house. There was an intruder there and in order to get him to leave I was throwing containers of hummus at him. I would fly up to the top of the tree and grab one then fling it at his face. No matter how many times I hit him he wouldn't leave.
I was with Lindsay Lohan and we were battling an evil villian (who happened to be my aunt nancy). Lindsay and I were supposed to have a weapon to fight with, and my aunt would have one too. Our weapon was some sort of ray gun that shot shrimp, but it was broken. My aunt had a big metal rod that was kind of like a candle holder as her weapon. My aunt started to fight us even though we didn't have our weapon. Lindsay and I were getting our asses kicked. I was some sort of important figure, and it was Lindsay's job to protect me. The rod that my aunt had would shoot lighting-bolt kind of things out of it, and anything that was hit by it would burst into flames. I spent most of the battle hiding, and watching Lindsay get demolished as she tried to defend herself. I realized that if I had been out there helping her we might have had some kind of chance. As I was thinking about this my aunt delivered another blow, this time causing the whole floor to give in and Lindsay and I fell through it.

The Crickets Are Really Getting to Me

Night of: September 19th
Number of Dreams Remembered: 1
Length of Sleep: 12 hours

We had a cricket problem at my house. I saw a little white dot on my pillow in my room, and all of a sudden 3 tiny, baby crickets popped out and jumped around. I tried to kill them, but they kept jumping away.

Brian's First

I was at Justin's house. For some reason Kyle had a gun and I don't remember what he was doing with it. I think I asked Justin if I could do my laundry at his house. Brian came running inside and he was really excited because he had just kissed a girl for the first time. I was very happy for him.

.... So basically I am just dreaming up strange combinations of Justin's dreams

Anchorman Catch Phrase

Day: September 19th
People Involved: Kyle Hart
Number of Dreams Remembered: 1
Length of Sleep: 3 hours (nap)

I played Catch Phrase with Kyle, and I saw the most difficult answer on Catch Phrase ever... a quote from the movie Anchorman. It was two lines long. I knew Kyle didn't know the movie as well as I do, and it was a very small part of the movie--when Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone are riding unicorns in the wonderful happy land known as Pleasure Town that represents sex.
I basically gave up when I couldn't figure out how to explain the second word... but Kyle started saying the quote. I realized he was just cheating and could see the screen, so I started flashing him the screen quickly to see how much he could get right. The line was so long, that we realized that it was difficult to memorize the whole thing. Instead of playing the game, we tried to see who could say the whole line first. I woke up remembering the first sentence:
"Me milling it is much worse than someone else looking for it."

Indian Stories: Secrets, Death vs. Public Speaking, and a Prostate Problem

Night of: September 18th
People Involved: my dad, lots of Indian people
Number of Dreams Remembered: 3
Length of Sleep: 6 hours

I was hanging out with some dorky Indian friend and his sister. He kept trying to tell me something secretly, but it wasn't working because his sister kept walking in. He finally announced that he needed to talk to me in private. Before telling me the big secret, he showed me where the internet connection was... for when I move in with him. I immediately wondered what that meant for business schools--would I be closer to certain schools if I moved?
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I was in a two-story speech class--like a theater with balcony seating--and it was my turn to speak. I was on the second level wearing a headset and got up, but the receiver thing for the headset that was supposed to be in my pocket was just sitting in my lap, so it fell to the ground. I put it in my left pocket first, and realized that the cord was crossing over me, so I switched it to my other pocket.
As I was walking down to the center of the room, where I'd make my speech, 3 Indian friends came in holding tennis racquets. They all acknowledged me... kindly. Someone in the class yelled to me, "Hey, did you forget your Indian racquet?" I think people laughed at that, but it didn't bother me much. I started laughing to myself because I thought I had a comeback, but I really didn't. I was also happy that I wasn't nervous for once. However, while walking down, I felt a bit off balance.
A lady and her daughter of 4-5 years old walked in. Feeling dizzy, I stumbled into the daughter, knocking her to the ground. I then made my comeback, "Did you forget your White... wrestler?" It made sense and was a good joke. People laughed, as did I, but I felt bad for the little girl, so I went to her and said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." As I walked back toward the center, I started laughing again, but still felt bad. I covered my mouth to hide the laughing.
I felt dizzy again, and took a tumble over some of the kids sitting in the stadium seats. I pretended like I meant to do it and it was part of the joke, so people still laughed. I got up, only to start tumbling/somersaulting again. This time, it wasn't funny and it didn't feel good. The world was spinning and in the midst, I could see a girl with a frightened expression; I knew I had injured myself this time. Still spinning, I saw blood splatter in a few places, and when I finally stopped, I put my hand to my head--there was a significant amount of blood in my palm. I was lying sideways across people, and a few helped to carry me out to go to the hospital.
I started closing my eyes, but caught myself and tried to stay awake. I wondered if my vision would turn red because of the blood. I also wondered why I didn't feel very much pain.
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My dad peed his pants at a party, which was related to a prostate problem. I saw a commercial for medication and thought about genetics and what his problem meant for me.

Back to School

Matt, Lilly - sc trailer park friends
Shayna - friend at sc

Helpful information: This guy named Andy and his roommates got a guinea pig last year. They hardly paid any attention to it. Andy offered her to me at one point and I said I would gladly take her, but Andy decided to keep her. She died this summer even though she couldn't have been over a year old.

My family had all gone on vacation together at My Grandparent's house, which in the dream was a gigantic mansion. I was going to go to sleep, and I had to share a bed with this little blond girl who was probably about five years old. She was the daughter of some family friends. We were about to go to sleep but then I noticed that there were giant crickets all over the bed. This woman, who might have been the girl's mother, got a box for us to put them in. I tried to catch some of them, but the crickets were all attracted to the box for some reason and jumped right onto it. I put the box outside and then we went to sleep.
I found out that I never actually finished middle school so I had to go back for a year. One of the teachers from the school came over to my house in SC to talk about it. I asked her if I actually had to go to the classes or if I could just do the work and give it to them. She said I actually had to go, which I thought was really stupid and I tried to reason with her for a while. As we were talking I somehow became involved in either playing tennis or swimming, and the other girls were being bitches and we got in an argument.
This was the week I was supposed to start school, and I assumed that it started on thursday. Today was tuesday or something so I was just walking around my house doing nothing. I saw a policeman pull up outside, and I realized that school started today and he was probably hear to get me. I had made an honest mistake so I wasn't too concerned about it. I went outside to meet the policeman, and before I could say hello to him a little boy ran up to him, and I think it was his son. The policeman brushed him off, and introduced himself to me. We talked about what happened and he said that I could just go the next day so it was okay.
For some reason when the next day rolled around I had something that I really needed to do before I could go, so I missed another day of school. I was worried that the sports teams wouldn't let me come to practice this late in the year.
I was going to go on another ISV trip, and for some reason in the process of getting ready to go I got distracted watching videos of one of my high school homecoming dances. I was there wearing something that looked kind of like one of the dresses I wore one year. The sequins on this one were iridescent and changed from red to green depending on the lighting. In the video I was crowned homecoming queen, and I looked very happy about it.
I was with Justin somewhere. He left and I got into a fist fight with someone about something. I ran out of the house as fast as I could. In the dream I could run really fast and I kind of used the ground to push off with my hands occasionally to get more speed. I noticed a red and silver striped snake on the ground, and then another in a tree as I ran by. I went to the trailer park to hang out. People didn't really seem to notice that I looked beat up. At one point I looked in a mirror and one of my eyes looked smaller than the other and my mouth was drooping.
I sat down in this dimly-lit room with Matt, Lilly, Shayna and some other people. Matt came in talking about how these two girls were having problems with their dads. Lilly and I mentioned that we knew what that was like. Matt argued that these girls were having bigger issues than us, I didn't really know so I didn't argue. I went into a little room where Lilly kept a guinea pig that she has. I noticed the cage was being used as a flower pot, and there was a red rose growing in the middle of it. I told Lilly what a beautiful rose it was, and she said that it was fertilized by the guinea pig who had died. I was furious with her for being so irresponsible, and felt like she should have learned something from Andy's guinea pig. I sat there thinking about how college students shouldn't be allowed to have pets. I think I tried to hit Lilly, because Shayna grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go. She was squeezing my arm so hard that I could see my veins bulging. I had to scream at her and physically struggle with her to get her to let go of me.

Elementary Batman, My Dear Watson

Night of: September 17th
People Involved: Batman, Kim Basinger, Steve Carell, Emma Watson
Number of Dreams Remembered: 2
Length of Sleep: 11 hours

Kim Basinger and I were in a house, and a guy was going to stab us with toothpicks. We waited for Batman to come, but he was upstairs, doing something else. He finally came down, beat up the guy, and disappeared. I thought it was quite lazy. We went to look for Batman, and when we found him, he was pretending to be sleeping in an empty bathtub.

I was in a group with Steve Carell, Emma Watson, and another person or two. In the dream, Steve and Emma weren't famous; they were just normal people/friends of mine. When others weren't around, I kissed Emma on the cheek. She later said that she wanted me to be her first real kiss. I was about to kiss her when someone walked in.

Happle Halloween/How Do You Like Them Halloweens

Night of: September 16th
People Involved: Amy Tracey (high school/college acquaintance), Eric Talevich, Brian Imbach
Number of Dreams Remembered: 1
Length of Sleep: 11 hours

I was hosting a haunted house in Laguna Hills, but the floor plan was much different. The whole bottom level was being used for the haunted house, and allowed people to choose which way they walked. Brian found this amazing (the fact that we used the whole bottom floor, not that people could choose).
The largest room had a "who can put the most apples in their mouth" contest going on for some reason. Amy had put about 37 in her mouth, which was more than anyone else. I got to about 7, and realized that my saliva/the movement of apples in my mouth was breaking them down, making more space, so I asked Eric, "Apples have sucrose, so the saliva breaks it down, right?" and he didn't give me a straight answer.

In Retrospect: The only thing I can think of that has anything do to do with this is that I watched "The Office" episode with the hot dog eating contest last night.

Caffeine Freak

Rich - coworker at teen center

I was in a random city with Rich and some other assorted people. We were at a big river with a wooden bridge over it and we decided to jump off into the river. I jumped in and it was really muddy and kind of gross, but it felt good to swim.
I was at some kind of party in someone's garage.
I was working at the teen center and one of the girls who came in had brought caffeine pills with her. The teen center has a drug-free policy, but I decided that those weren't really a big deal. I watched her walk toward the back of the building, and saw her give some to another girl. This bothered me, and I went up to both of the girls and kicked them out. They protested because they were just caffeine and I told them I didn't care and kicked them out anyway.

Old Friends, Drunk Driving, and Bathroom Sex

Chris - high school friend
Jared - high school boyfriend
Tyler- high school friend
Tim - friend from ucsc trailer park

I was in the library at SC and I was really bored so I was going to leave. My cell phone rang and I saw that Chris was calling me. I couldn't pick up the phone in time and when I did he had hung up already. I was really bummed cause I would have loved to catch up with him. My phone rang a couple more times and this time when I picked it up Chris hung up right after I said hello. Now I also felt like a douche because I was talking on my cell phone in the library. I thought about how typical it was for him to create a frustrating situation for me. I called his number back and he answered. We made plans to meet up at his house later that night.
I got to the lobby at the library and there was a group of guys hanging around in it. I was wearing really short shorts and they all started following behind me and making comments. I was carrying a pillow so I tried to hold it behind me so the guys would leave me alone but they were relentless. I think they were part of the Water Polo team, because Jared walked in and started talking to all of them. Now it was like I kind of knew the guys, and I playfully pushed one of them so he would stop following me. Even though I tried to do it nicely I really did want them to get the fuck away from me. I saw Jared and smiled and said hello to him, he didn't really notice me.
I was driving Tyler's car to his school. I was unfamiliar with the area and I felt kind of lost trying to find a space in the parking lot. I left the car and went to meet Tyler.
When we came back out at the end of the day the car wasn't where I thought I left it. I also saw that the place I supposedly left it was actually a fire lane. I figured they must have towed his car. I felt so horrible and I was really embarrassed. Tyler was actually really nice about it and was just sort of shocked that they actually towed his car.
Later on that evening I went to a party in the same place. Tim and a bunch of people from SC were there as well as a lot of my old high school friends. The place we were in was a lavish apartment all decorated with mahogany and full of fancy stuff. Tim was wearing a suit and he kept complaining that there wasn't enough alcohol. I told him that I had beer at my house and that I could go get it if he wanted. Tim said that would be great, so I left to go get it. As I was walking to my car I realized that it really wasn't very much, and that I shouldn't be driving anyway because I was pretty drunk. But I did anyway, and for some reason I was driving my old Audi again. I drove to my Dad's house, which was apparently where the beer was. I tried to avoid talking to my family since they would know I was drunk. My dad said something about how I shouldn't be driving drunk.
I went to get back in the car, which was now the Jetta, and realized I only had the key for the Audi. Now I thought I was totally screwed, but just for the hell of it I tried putting the key from the Audi into the Jetta... and it worked (I think maybe just because I wanted it to and I was pretty close to realizing I was dreaming). The car shot off and I had to hold down the clutch the entire time I drove it to keep it from stalling. I headed back to Tim's party.
I went to visit a woman in some kind of place that was a combination between a bathroom and a library. After being there for a while I realized that people were using the stalls as a place to have sex, so apparently the woman was some kind of female pimp since she ran the whole thing. The woman's boyfriend showed up after a while and he and I got along well. But after spending some time with them I noticed he was being a douche to her and it was pissing her off, so I kind of stopped talking to him after that.

The End

Day: September 14th
People Involved: Family
Number of Dreams Remembered: 1
Length of Sleep: 4 hours (nap)

I was at some sort of body of water with the family, when we heard news that one of us was injured or dead. My family said that it would be very unfair and unjust if it was me who was injured/dead... maybe because I'm the youngest.
It turned out to be me.
I was dead. I was still able to talk to my family, and embraced each member... but once they started trying to figure out how I died, I was not able to talk to them anymore. It was announced that I drowned and I tried to explain to my mom that that's not what happened. She just walked away and couldn't hear me anymore. It was one of the saddest moments I've experienced in a dream. I could see my entire family there, but they couldn't see me.
Despite the sadness, I decided I should take advantage of the situation... but before attempting to fly, I did something else, which I can't remember now. Whatever it was woke me up.

Cranberry Juice... Without Vodka?

I spent the night in my Dad's house. I had just waken up and my mouth was really dry. I went into the garage to get something to drink. When I looked in the fridge the only thing in there was soda, which I try not to drink. I decided to have it anyway since I was really thirsty. I brought it back into the kitchen and set in on the counter. Justin walked in and was pulling a t-shirt on. His hair was long (like chin-length). He asked me if I wanted some cranberry juice. I didn't understand what he said the first time and he repeated the words "cranberry juice" and enunciated them more the second time. I understood, smiled, and said yes.

System of a Tool

Night of: September 12th
People Involved: Brian Schwartz (high school acquaintance), Mindy Kaling (Kelly Kapoor on "The Office" and the writer of the episode "The Injury"), Carley Jennings
Number of Dreams Remembered: 3
Length of Sleep: 12 hours (woke up after about 10 hours, then fought my alarm for 2 more hours)

I was in the band Tool as a second guitarist, and we were playing at Warped Tour. Brian Schwartz was the lead guitarist. We played a few songs, and I did fine. One of the songs was System of a Down, but I didn't realize it. We played one Tool song that I remember--"Schism"--and at that point, I realized that I didn't really know any Tools songs.
After the show, we walked around, and I saw Mindy Kaling walking in our direction. I was like, "Mindy!" and she said, "Heyyy... my cousin's doing good, how's yours??" and I said, "I think you think I'm someone else..." and at that point we walked past each other.
The band ate together at a ghetto restaurant with some close friends/fans, and one of the band members said that he wanted to make out with another band member to sort of come out of the closet. No one did it with him.
Brian Schwartz said that he had to leave early and that I should be able to play all the parts by myself, but that made me nervous, since I had realized that I actually didn't know how to play barely any of the songs. I convinced Brian to stay, and asked the singer if we were going to play "Sugar" which I thought was Tool in my dream, and is a song I actually know how to play. I remember thinking, "IS that Tool??" The singer looked at me weird, and before he could say anything, I said, "Or we'll just play the set that you wrote out... I know how much it sucks to change the set last minute."
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My teeth were falling out. I figured I was dreaming so I started purposely spitting them out, but it still sucked.
--------
Carley caught a cricket, but I woke up, freaked out that there was a cricket in my bed.

Cards

Theo was sitting in my room and I left to make food.
I was trying to make something interesting but everything was all mushy and disgusting.
I went over to Justin's house to meet with him. I sat outside on the sidewalk and a couple seconds later he opened the blinds and saw me through the window. I went inside and found a ton of Justin's family sitting at a huge card table. My mom was there too. Justin asked if I wanted to play cards, and I said sure. My mom was trying to find the cards in the cupboard, and when she finally pulled them out they were wrapped like a gift.

I Wonder What Song That Was

Night of: September 11th
People Involved: ?
Number of Dreams Remembered: 1
Length of Sleep: 7 hours

I was in some guys' apartment with a song stuck in my head, but couldn't figure out what band it was. I knew the band was featured in a magazine, so I looked for it, but the apartment looked like a tornado hit it. I found a couple of magazines and tried to read the artists featured, but it was difficult to make out the band names.
Later, I was in a bar with two guys from the apartment and they were being douches.

In Retrospect: I'm sure this has something to do with Guitar Hero.

A Very Crappy Christmas

Erin - friend at SC

I was staying with Erin in Los Angeles. Her house was in a commercial district, and for some reason all the parking spaces said "car pool" in them. I parked my car and went inside to meet her family.
I was on vacation with my Dad, step-mom, and my sisters. We were at a giant man-made system of lakes and waterfalls. For some reason we were having trouble leaving. We had lost our passports or something so we were being detained.
It was Christmas time and I had started two youth groups for younger girls. I was in my old neighborhood trying to recruit girls to be in them. There was one girl in particular that I couldn't convince to join. She kept wavering back and forth on her decision so I decided to work extra hard on convincing her. The last thing I did was wrap her a gift that had the group's uniform inside of it. When I went to give it to her I brought all of the girls who had already joined. She opened it and even after all of the other girls hassled her for a while she still declined.
I was really pissed about the whole thing and I went home and laid down on top of a giant Christmas present. I was starting to feel really sleepy and was dozing off but then a girl from my biology class came up to me and asked if she could copy my notes. I said sure, and we talked as she copied them. There was a party going on in the house, and so there were a bunch of people walking around talking and having a good time. This didn't really suit my mood very well, and then to make things worse the girl who wouldn't join the group called. The man who answered the phone was very happy to hear from her and so he was acting very friendly and excited on the phone. I told him "don't encourage her".

Violent Night, Unholy Night

Night of: September 10th
People Involved: my family, Kyle Hart, Carley Jennings, Rainn Wilson (Dwight from "The Office"), Jenna
Number of Dreams Remembered: 4-6
Length of Sleep: 11-12 hours

I was in line at a water park with the family, and the structure was very bendy and unstable. The whole ride, including the line, was moving back and forth, as if there was a 10.0 earthquake, but this was happening constantly. Someone said that the ride wasn't safe, and just then, two brothers flew off the water ride, landing in line next to us, face down. They looked pretty injured.
-----
Kyle and I were being attacked in what appeared to be a war. A man found Kyle and tried to shoot him, but there were no bullets. He put one bullet in, and shot Kyle in the leg. I realized that this was a dream, so I tried to tell Kyle that he was fine and it was all fake... yet I was still freaking out and running away from the man with the gun.

In Retrospect: This is definitely because Carley and I were talking about lucid dreaming, and how we try to tell our friends that it's a dream.
-----
I had two cats, and was petting them. A couple of bullies started slapping the cats and being mean to them. The cats came to me for help and I took them away from the bullies.

In Retrospect: Definitely because Carley and I were talking about cats.
-----
I was in a diving class, and Jenna was kind of bitchy. She outdid anything I did, and everyone was excited about that.
-----
Carley was in one of my dreams, but now I can't remember it. Also Rainn Wilson was playing handball against a garage door with a bunch of other people in a neighborhood that I was running around (I may have been running around because of the man with the gun, but I'm not positive).

I Don't Want To Go Back

Andy - friend from SC
Theo - ex-boyfriend

I was back at school. A bunch of people I knew were all in a dining hall and we were all sitting at a big table talking. Justin was now a grad student at UCSC so he was with us too. I saw Andy walk into the dining hall and I hadn't seen him forever. I ran over to him and we hugged and we were much happier to see each other than we ever would be in real life, for some reason our reunion was very touchy and emotional. We stood there talking for a while, and the whole time I was talking to Andy I wanted to go back and sit with Justin. Eventually Andy left and when I went back over to the table. There was a girl sitting there with a list of names in her hand and she was talking to someone on the phone. It sounded like she was telling a manager at Long's Drugs that I was going to work for them. I asked what the hell she was doing and wrestled the phone out of her hand. Everyone at the table was now watching and laughing at us while the girl explained that I had put my name on this list a while ago saying I would work there. I told her that was years ago when I was having trouble finding a job. Justin got up and said that he was leaving to go study. I was sad that he was leaving and thought that maybe I could call him later so he and I could do something.
I was working for a guy in his house. The man I was working for was this really old and bitter guy and he always kept me till really late. Theo worked for him too, and I was always pissed that the guy would keep me from spending time with Theo by keeping us there so late doing separate things. I approached the guy about it, who was sitting at the top of a flight of stairs holding a pillow and a bag, and told him that if he was keeping me here late because he needed me to work then that's fine, but if he was keeping me here just to screw things up for me than I was going to quit. He told me he just needed me to work and then pointed to a sign I had to take down.
The man I was working for had a son, who happened to be a kid from the teen center (but I didn't notice this in the dream). Their son was highly allergic to tomatoes, and he got some paprika on him and was freaking out because he thought it might be tomato-based. The kid started screaming, and I got a third person view of each person in the family hearing their son scream and then watched them react. I got a view of his mom, who was sitting in a room by herself watching TV in her underwear, and upon hearing her son's scream she stood up and pulled some shorts on and left to find him. I had to go with the family to drive the kid to the hospital. While we were getting ready to leave the man handed me a bag, and spit on it. I asked him why the hell he did that but he just ignored me and walked away. I realized it was Friday and that I was supposed to be driving home. I looked at my watch and saw that it was six in the evening already, and that I would have to leave now if I was going to get to Berkeley at any sort of reasonable hour.

Circus

Phil = coworker

I was forced to join the circus. I had just finished getting my costume on and as I was walking past all the tents I was practicing my act, which was apparently poi dancing. A guy called out to me as I walked past him and started saying how hot poi dancing is. I didn't really appreciate this so I ignored him and kept walking.
I was supposed to drive a bus with all the circus equipment to our next show. I had never done this before and I had no idea where I was supposed to drive the stuff to. I was following the other bus and hoping I wouldn't get lost. We stopped somewhere to get food. Phil was with me and he bought me a sandwich. The guy who made it was apparently a performer of some type, and so we were just supposed to pay him whatever we thought was appropriate. Phil didn't want to be rude so he gave him around 15 dollars, and I matched that. I walked away with my sandwich thinking how ridiculous it was that this guy just made 30 dollars off a sandwich. I was really late getting back to the bus and I was afraid I was going to get fired.

Carley Beesly

Night of: September 7th
People Involved: Carley Jennings, Paul Lieberstein (Toby Flenderson from "The Office"), Mindy Kaling (Kelly Kapoor from "The Office"), Mindy Kaling's mom
Number of Dreams Remembered: 2
Length of Sleep: 10-11 hours

I was saying bye to Carley, and wanted to kiss her... but being shy, the only way I could think of to do this was to kiss her on the cheek and start talking mid-kiss so that she'd turn her head and kiss me on the lips. It worked--she kissed me back, and that went on for a couple of minutes.
Later, Carley came back with some paperwork saying that we were married. I was confused by this, but not as bothered as one would think.

----------

I was hanging out with the cast of "The Office" in an extremely rich neighborhood and everyone had been drinking. Paul and I seemed to get along pretty well, but he was drunk and went to hang out with some random people in a spa. He got in, took a beer bong hit, and threw up in the spa. I pointed that out to the rest of the cast, and everyone laughed, disgusted.
I tried to tell Mindy that she did a great job writing the "Diwali" episode, because she nailed typical Indian parenting in that script, but she thought I was trying to make suggestions or was criticizing her. I continued trying to explain but eventually gave up.

In Retrospect: Definitely because I've been watching "The Office" Season 3 for the last 3 days non-stop, including commentaries.

Family Pot

Tyler = friend from high school
Mitch = kid at TC

I had moved into a new house in Santa Cruz. There were about 7 or 8 people that were going to live in it and I had to share a room with two other guys. I was excited that I didn't have to live with girls, but then I found out that one of the guys I had to share a room with was Theo. The other guy was Tyler.
I went to the beach to go surfing. The waves were huge, around 10 feet overhead. I had gone out with a wind surfer and I was helping him get his board all set up.
I was at the teen center and we were about to play a poker game. We were sitting at a big square dining room table. We didn't have a poker table and we were using coins as chips, so whenever someone tried to stack their coins they would slide everywhere. Mitch was passing out silver dishes to everyone. I looked around and noticed that everyone had gotten a plate except for me. I got pissed at Mitch for not giving me a plate. He smiled at me and handed me the rest of the dishes he was carrying. I was flattered by this gesture, and when I went to set them down in front of me I noticed that I did already have a plate.